On-Air Breakdown

The complete title of this is "The On-Air Breakdown of Uncle Harry Heartman."

Not two minutes after the events depicted in this comic, Uncle Harry (real name: Harold Pulmowitz) wept for a solid hour and a half before his producers dragged him off the set and locked him in his dressing room. After hearing what was described as "the distinct sound of a grown man gnawing on furniture," a boom mic operator called 911. Security helped batter down the door, and Uncle Harry was found slumped over his couch with half a cushion down his throat. Paramedics arrived and rushed Uncle Harry to the local hospital, where he was declared dead at 5:57 p.m. from "inhalation of upholstery."

The TV producers were thrown in jail. The monstrously ugly little girl was never identified. There's a powerful life lesson imbedded in this somewhere, but damned if I know where to find it.

---AK